


The Beds We've Made

by RagingBookDragon



Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: (sort of), Angst, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Heavy Angst, Humor, Makeup, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29075040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagingBookDragon/pseuds/RagingBookDragon
Summary: The Coin Guard Coup has been thwarted and the governors are safe. It is well, all as it should be, and Constantin seems to be grateful for Kurt's loyalty. However, De Sardet isn't particularly pleased with the mercenary's decision to remain silent, especially with how close they are. It seems that her trust in him is hanging by a thread, and as sure as the night comes, so will her rage.
Relationships: Kurt & De Sardet (GreedFall), Kurt/De Sardet (GreedFall)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was sorely displeased with the lack of hurt dialogue after the Coup. So here's my take on what it should've been! Enjoy! -Thorne

De Sardet had been silent in the aftermath of the coup, and while serenity was her normal state, the quiet that surrounded her unnerved her companions, Kurt most of all. She listened to Constantin thank the man and the others for their help, promising rewards for all of them, and though they humbled their way through the offers, they didn’t outright deny them.

Her cousin turned his attention on her, voice as tired as his face shown. “As for you my fair cousin. Ah! You know what I owe you.” He smiled. “Not only have you looked out for me like always, but you have protected my advisors too.”

De Sardet tried for a smile, but she figured all that was produced was a grimace. “You needn’t thank me for such a thing, Constantin. I did what was necessary.” Clearing her throat, she added, “Petrus and Aphra have both said that San Matheus and Hikmet were both successful in their campaigns to thwart the Coin Guard.”

Constantin nodded. “Excellent. It would’ve been a shame if they hadn’t.” He looked over De Sardet again. “I was told as well that you have captured Commander Torsten and his underlings?”

“We have,” she confirmed. “And they will be punished accordingly.”

Something dark flashed across her cousin’s face and he admitted, “I’ve half a mind to give them to the Ordo Luminous for what they’ve done.” He waved a hand. “Enough talk of their crimes. We have stopped them, and for that, I thank you again Kurt.”

The mercenary huffed a laugh, and it made her eye twitch. “If your highness is looking for a means to translate his gratitude, gold is a present that is always appreciated.”

De Sardet scoffed, quietly sneering, “ _Yes_ , _because gold is seemingly all that matters to you_.” She could feel Kurt’s gaze upon her, but she ignored it.

“I imagine that you shall name a new commander? Hopefully, someone more trustworthy than Torsten?” Constantin inquired.

Kurt nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes. I’ll be discussing the matter with the loyal officers, the ones I trust. But I think I know who will be elected. And as aware as we are about the Guard’s reputation being tarnished, we won’t be making the same mistake twice. Sieglinde is one of the most solid and loyal soldiers I’ve ever fought beside. She will lead us well.”

The assured smile that crossed her cousin’s face made De Sardet want to pull her hair out. “You have my full trust, Kurt. You have amply earned it.”

Constantin’s gaze fell on her once more. “Cousin are you well?” his voice was full of concern.

At that, her companions turned to her and she realized she was scowling; De Sardet shook her head. “I’m fine…just tired, is all.”

He nodded sympathetically. “I understand.” His eyes darted to the moon rising in the sky. “It is well into the night. You should all retire and get rest. The plan for tomorrow can wait.”

“Are you sure, Constantin?”

“Yes, dear cousin. You have run all over the city today. Please, rest for the evening.”

De Sardet walked up to him, leaning over to softly press her lips to his temple. “I will come back in the morning, Constantin. If you need me though, don’t hesitate to send for me.”

He chuckled quietly. “I _always_ need you, cousin.”

She laughed and pulled away, smoothing his hair. “Make sure you get some rest too.” He nodded but didn’t say anything and she turned on her heel, striding for the doors, the others following close behind.

*******

The night air felt less stuffy, but the smell of smoke still surrounded her. At least she felt like she could breathe again. Her shoulders rose and fell with the heavy sigh that left her, and suddenly she felt dead on her feet, ready to sink into her sheets. Footsteps came to a halt behind her and she turned, her companions waiting for her to breach the silence.

She rolled her thoughts over her tongue before deciding on, “It’s been a long day. I suspect most of us will sleep into the next afternoon.” De Sardet popped her wrists. “Don’t worry about being ready in the morning. I’ll come collect you after noon tomorrow.”

Before she could even take a step towards her house, she heard, “Carants? Are you well?”

Síora’s question seemed to set off a train reaction because each of her friends offered their own concerns and De Sardet nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I’m fine. As I said, I’m only tired.” She spun and started off down the stairs but stopped when she heard his voice.

“I’ll come with you, Green Blood.”

Something heavy weighed down on her chest and she squared her shoulders but refused to look back at him.

“I don’t think that’s a wise decision, Kurt.” Her eyes focused on the stars in the distance and she added, “As a matter of fact, I don’t think you coming with me tomorrow will be one either.”

“What?” his voice was full of incredulity. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Finally, De Sardet faced him, and the anger she’d felt all day simmered to a boil in her veins. “Do you need me to spell it out for you, my most _loyal_ Master-At-Arms?” Kurt winced at the title and she took step towards him, hissing, “Until further notice, you are hereby dismissed from my service. You will spend all your time either at the palace watching over my fool cousin—who has seemingly disregarded your role in the coup, or you will stay in the Coin Guard barracks.”

She thrust a finger into his chest. “But I don’t want you anywhere near this group until I’m ready.”

“Your excelle—”

De Sardet cut him off with a harsh shove, and though she wasn’t strong like him, he still stumbled back a bit. “ _Shut up_!” she shouted. “Just shut up! I don’t want to hear any of your excuses!”

Her eyes hardened when the tears filled them. “You _lied_ to me, Kurt. I trusted you and you lied to me.” _I gave you my heart and you lied to me_ , is what she meant, and he knew it too.

“Only by omission, my lady.” He defended, ignoring how the others seemed to take a few steps back, intent to let them argue.

“A lie is _still_ a lie, Kurt!” De Sardet retorted sharply. “You could’ve told me what was happening. A warning before all of this—” she gestured wildly, and upon not finding an eloquent term, she borrowed one from Vasco. “ _shitstorm_ you pulled us into.”

She breathed heavily and said, “Regardless, my cousin might’ve placed his trust in you once more, but rest assured I will no longer extend the same courtesy to you.”

Kurt’s face fell and while some part of her felt bad for her declaration, she reveled in the way it felt. “You made this bed, _mercenary_. Rest in it.” Her words dripped with a frigid rage.

“My la—”

De Sardet raised a hand, effectively silencing him. “I suggest you get out of my sight lest I scar the other side of your face.”

She knew the man was too proud to flee with his tail between his legs, but he obeyed her, quietly descending the steps without another word.

Her eyes swept over the rest of her group and nodding firmly, she made her way back to her home, heart aching the entire way.


	2. PT. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with PT. 2! And a bit of make up! But not full! Enjoy! -Thorne

It was shoddy luck on their part that resulted in the attack just two hundred meters from the city, more so hers than her companions. As she wrenched her saber free from the torso of the last marauder, her eyes flitted over the field, finding both her companions still standing, though her relief was short lived as Vasco brought a hand to his side.

De Sardet took a step towards him, worrying, “Vasco, are you alright?”

The captain didn’t respond at first, fingers undoing the main belt around his waist. It hit the ground and he pulled his jacket open. Her eyes went wide as crimson began to bloom, staining the cream shirt he wore.

She immediately pressed her hands up against his wound, ignoring how he hissed. “How bad is it?”

“I don’t know,” he muttered as he shook his head, and she shifted one of her hands to feel around for an exit wound. None was there.

“Bullet’s still inside. We need to get you to a doctor,” De Sardet affirmed. “Put pressure with your left hand, sling your right over my shoulders.”

Vasco obeyed and they started down the small hill, coming to the dirt road. The farther they walked, the heavier the Naut became, all but leaning onto her and with a quick glance to him, she knew he wasn’t going to make it all the way to the gate even with her help. Sweat started rolling down his forehead and she cursed under her breath.

“Vasco, stop. _Stop_.” De Sardet whispered, gently maneuvering him to the ground, her fingers shifting beneath his to pressure his wound. His tricorn tipped to the ground when he rested his head back onto her shoulder, groaning weakly.

Síora knelt beside them. “Carants?” Her eyes were wide with worry and De Sardet looked to her.

“We’re not strong enough to get him back.” She shifted her gaze to the city gates, probably a hundred meters away now. “Síora, go to the barracks and get Kurt. He’s the only one strong enough to carry Vasco.”

She could tell the native was hesitant especially since it’d been only a week before that the noble had removed the mercenary from her service.

“Síora, _hurry_ ,” De Sardet urged. “I don’t know how long Vasco will stay awake.”

“I will be swift,” she replied, taking off towards the city.

De Sardet shifted, leaning around Vasco’s body to lift his shirt. Pulling the handkerchief from her coat pocket, she pressed the cloth to it; it soaked through within moments.

“Done in by a…gunshot,” Vasco panted. “Figured I’d go…down with my ship.”

She snorted. “If you’re still able to joke, I guess it’s not as bad, huh?”

“I don’t wanna die on land.”

De Sardet grabbed his chin, the blood smearing along the black tattoos. “You listen to me right now. You’re _not_ dying, you hear?”

Vasco chuckled, though it dissolved into a groan. “Can’t exactly…stop it.”

“If you die, I’ll have no one to sing sea shanties with.” She gave him a smile, batting her eye lashes. “Don’t wanna disappoint this pretty woman, now do you?”

He grinned. “ _Never_.”

*******

She burst into the barracks, doors slamming into the walls as she strode forward. Manfred looked up from his desk, at the woman; she looked familiar, but not enough that he could place her.

“Can I help you, miss?” he asked, taking in the native clothes she wore.

Síora nodded. “I need to find Kurt. It is imperative.”

Manfred started to stand. “Can I ask what for?”

“Caran—De Sardet needs him. Our friend is injured.”

He nodded, leading the way towards the training grounds. “I understand.”

Cracking the door open, they stepped out, watching Kurt bark orders at some new recruits who were doing pushups. Before Manfred could even call for him, Síora was sprinting to him.

“ _Carants_!” she yelled, and Kurt’s head snapped up, eyes wide at the usually calm native so frantic.

“Síora?”

“De Sardet needs you. It’s serious.”

Something flashed in the mercenary’s eyes and he didn’t even wait for her to explain, simply grabbing his sword leaning up against the wall and hurrying after her.

The recruits had watched them for a moment before glancing towards Manfred who simply commanded, “Back to training, you lot!”

*******

She’d managed to strip Vasco of his coat to keep him cool, but it barely did anything as he’d already sweat through the back of his shirt. His consciousness was dwindling faster than she could keep it steady, ultimately resulting to talk to him to keep him awake.

“C’mon Vasco, if you think about it, someone has to get us back to Serene when this is all over. Whose boat am I going to take?”

_That did it_. His face pinched and she knew it wasn’t from pain as he griped, “Ship. For the last fucking time…it’s a _ship_.”

De Sardet giggled. “You know those terms are synonymous, yes?”

“My foot is going to find your ass synonymous…if you call my ship a boat again.”

She snorted, running her free hand to smooth back his damp hair. “I’d like to see you try. We both know who the better fighter is.”

Before he could even make his own witty comeback, the thunk of boots came their way and she prayed that it wasn’t an enemy. De Sardet squinted, and upon making out Kurt’s face in the evening light, she almost cried in relief. The mercenary skidded to a halt beside them, dropping to a knee.

“ _Kurt_ ,” she breathed. “Thank the Gods you’re here.”

He looked Vasco over. “What happened?”

The captain groaned. “The fuck does it…look like happened?”

“Well, I see you’re in _rare_ form, captain,” Kurt joked. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve…been through a hurricane,” Vasco ground out and De Sardet shifted behind him.

“We tried making it back.” Her eyes found the mercenary’s. “Kurt, I need your help to carry him. I’m not strong enough to do it on my own.”

Kurt nodded. “Of course.” He grabbed Vasco’s arm and pulled it around his neck, one arm going to the captain’s back, the other below his knees. “On three. Vasco, lean in if you can.”

The Naut grunted. “I’ll try.”

He looked at De Sardet and nodded, watching as she moved herself to Vasco’s free side to catch him if he fell out of Kurt’s arms.

“One. Two. Three!” Kurt heaved and pulled him up, wincing as Vasco let out a pained moan. He glanced at Síora. “Constantin is sure to have a doctor waiting on him at the palace. Go and get them. We’ll take Vasco to De Sardet’s residence.” She nodded and started off ahead of them.

The hurried and when De Sardet kept looking over, he said, “He’ll be okay, Green Blood.”

She shook her head. “That’s not what I’m thinking about.” Gesturing to them, she asked, “Does he even weigh _anything_ to you?”

Kurt snorted. “Nah. It’s like holding a few grapes.” He gave her a knowing look and murmured, “Honestly it’s like that time I had to carry you back from the tavern.”

Her eyes went wide with shock and she cried, “You said you’d never bring that up again!”

He dodged her attempt to shove at him, though she seemed to remember the injured Naut and stopped.

“Oh, so I can’t bring up how you told me you wanted to shag—”

De Sardet audibly growled at him, pointing her dagger in his side. “I will shank the shit out of you if you finish that sentence, Kurt.”

The mercenary chuckled, but conceded, crossing under the arch, and moving towards the residence. When they neared it, De Sardet opened the door to the guest apartments.

“Vasco’s room is the second door.” She opened it and let Kurt inside, watching as he set the still-moaning captain onto the bed. Síora came in behind them with one of the masked doctors. The doctor looked between the group and nodded at Kurt.

The mercenary nodded to the door. “We’ll take care of this.” De Sardet started to make a retort but he fixed her with a look. “Green Blood, _please_. Let us do this.”

She pursed her lips and glanced at Vasco, then back to Kurt. “Promise you’ll get me if you need me.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

De Sardet let Síora lead her out, and every time she heard a pained yell come from inside the bedroom, she had to fight to stay seated, _to trust Kurt_.

*******

It was well into the night when the doors finally opened, and the doctor stepped out. They’d said nothing but given a simple nod before taking the coin purse and leaving. De Sardet shuffled into the bedroom, catching sight of Kurt placing a freshly dampened rag onto Vasco’s forehead; he’d fallen asleep it seemed.

“How is he?” she whispered, afraid to wake him.

Kurt nodded. “Got the bullet out.” He tipped his chin to the metal ball, no bigger than the tip of her pinky, sitting on the nightstand. “He’ll have one helluva souvenir to show off.”

De Sardet chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed, gently taking Vasco’s hand in hers. “Think they’ve got a tattoo that stands for ‘I survived getting shot’?”

“Probably,” he chuckled, watching as she placed two fingers to the Naut’s pulse.

“Heart rate is calm,” she decided, softly resting his hand back on his stomach. Her eyes drifted to the side of the bed where Kurt sat on a stool and she inconspicuously took in the blood that stained his hands.

She stood and walked towards the basin. Ever so carefully, she picked it up and slowly walked back over, setting it down by Kurt’s feet before once again taking her seat at the edge of the bed. De Sardet picked up the rag that was set on the side and dipped it into the water. When it was soaked, she wringed it and gently took one of Kurt’s scarred hands into hers, wiping the blood in silence; though she could feel his eyes on her, she didn’t say a thing.

“You don’t have to—” she cut him off by turning his hand over, running the rag across his palm.

“I _don’t_ ,” she agreed. “But I _want_ to.” Her eyes met his. “You saved Vasco’s life tonight. Cleaning the blood off your hands is the least I could do.”

Kurt shrugged, offhandedly mentioning, “He’s important to you.”

The words sounded so bitter and it made De Sardet smile as she quipped quietly, “Careful there, Kurt. Your _jealously_ is showing.”

“I am _not_ jealous,” he retorted, scowling when she flashed him an innocent smile.

“No, of course you’re not. Taking the company of another man, _a sailor no less_ , to watch my back instead of you. There’s no reason for jealously.”

“You think you’re being cute but you’re not,” he griped, following with, “my lady,” when she cocked a brow.

“ _I think I’m_ _adorable_ ,” De Sardet hummed before taking his other hand.

He watched her for a moment, then muttered, “Not exactly like I could watch your back after you removed me.”

De Sardet’s hand froze and she met his eyes, simply gazing at him for a long minute. “You understand _why_ I removed you, don’t you, Kurt?”

She knew he didn’t want to admit the reason to her, even though they both knew it, but he shifted through the shame and nodded. “Yes, my lady, I do.”

“So, you understand that my anger and resentment has been founded and is legitimate?”

“Yes…my lady.”

“ _Then you don’t get to be pissy with my decision_.” Her words were firm, but they weren’t angry, not like they were the other week. They still stung the same though.

De Sardet wiped the last of the blood from his hand and set the rag down, replacing the basin where it was. As she moved to the door, she heard him speak.

“Green Blood?”

She paused and looked back at him. “Yes, Kurt?”

He seemed to be mulling over his thoughts, looking as if he was going to be sick. “I…would like your help with something.”

De Sardet arched a fine brow. “And that is?”

Kurt met her eyes. “I want to track down the man responsible for the ghost camps. For Reiner…for _me_.”

She searched his gaze for a moment, then nodded. “Meet me here tomorrow morning and we’ll go.”

“Thank you, Green Blood.”

De Sardet tipped her head slightly. “Don’t thank me just yet. We haven’t found him.”

Kurt huffed a laugh. “ _With you_ , _we will_.”


	3. PT. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to do all my homework and write this in one night. Who tf am I??? Enjoy! -Thorne

The one thing she could praise the Ordo Luminous on was their ability to be punctual with their executions. It occurred at dawn when the streets were dead, save a few store owners who were making ready for the day. De Sardet stood just fifty feet from the platform, her eyes glued to the man in the center. He’d forgone screaming for mercy and pleading his innocence. Either that or he’d yelled himself hoarse. Kurt stood at her right, Petrus at her left and they watched the Inquisitors deliver a final sermon before throwing their torches at their feet. As so the fire spread, so did their agony filled screeches, though De Sardet figured it was payment for the cruelties they inflicted. When their figures went up in a vicious roar of auburn, Kurt gave one last glance before passing behind her and the older man, finally leaving his memories where they belonged—in the past.

*******

Petrus had stayed behind in San Matheus to relay messages between the Mother Cardinal and Constantin for De Sardet, allowing for the Legate and the mercenary to make their way back to New Serene. They’d been quiet, neither wanting to really break the silence over what they’d witnessed. Death, as gruesome as a heresy burning, was a lot to take in, even if the ones that died were abhorrent people.

De Sardet could tell that there was a lot on Kurt’s mind. He wasn’t one to be vocal of his own issues, and even when he was, it was like he was telling as if someone had a gun to his head. Still though, she could feel the emotion, and she loathed to call it anxiety, radiating off him in waves.

They stopped at one of the camps for the night, knowing that traveling at such a time was considerably more dangerous than traveling during the day. Too many things that you couldn’t see until they were right on top of you. She busied herself with pitching the tent, only setting up one as it wasn’t necessary to set both. _At least that’s what she told herself_.

Kurt and she had known each other since they were twenty-two and twelve. He’d helped her through more personal things than even her own mother had. Princess De Sardet had gone on a political trip to San Matheus once, leaving her behind at the castle. Thirteen years old, there were some things that hadn’t been explained yet. Kurt had hidden his awkwardness well when he explained it though, gently ushering her to go find one of her maids to help her. She’d never forget his help that day, and on the other days when she needed apothecary potions. He’d been nothing but supportive, and _quiet_ , and it meant more to her than she’d ever admitted.

That being said, they could share a tent with no problems. They were grown adults who had certainly _not_ been dancing around one another with flirtatious smiles and suggestive comments. Oh, who was she kidding, the thought of actually getting into the same tent with the mercenary made her heart race and her cheeks warm.

When Kurt returned with the firewood, he started setting it up, eyes briefly flitting to the single tent she’d put up, and the rolled one still beside it. Apparently, he had the same thought.

“Good idea making one. It’d be a hassle to take both down in the morning.”

De Sardet nodded, settling back onto the log as she watched him strike the flint with the fire striker. “I hope you have no objections to sharing one.”

“I feel like I’m being set up,” he snorted. “If I say no, it means I don’t view you as a lady, and if I say yes, it means I do.”

She rolled her eyes. “Can’t you ever just _answer_ the question?”

“I _can_ ,” he agreed. “But _I’d_ rather make _you_ exasperated.”

“ _Charming_ thought process there, Kurt,” she sighed, but it held little heat. “And just _how_ many women has it worked on?”

“Common ladies? Loads of times. Noble ones? Well, I think you’d be the first.”

Something shimmered in De Sardet’s eyes, and he knew he’d given her ammunition. “So… _I’m_ your first noble? I’m honored.”

“If your mother could hear you know,” Kurt retorted dryly, but his eyes widened once the words came out and he looked at her as if he’d just shot her. “My lady, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

De Sardet chuckled, waving off his apology. “It’s alright, Kurt.”

The mercenary looked away, settling back onto the dirt, back resting up against the log. “I…forgot momentarily…I know it’s still sore.”

She let out a heavy sigh, hunching forward slightly, knee brushing his shoulder. “Hopefully, it won’t be that way forever.”

“ _Hopefully_ ,” he repeated mournfully, his gaze long and lost.

De Sardet regarded him a moment, then gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “Kurt…are you alright?” He didn’t need to ask to know what she was referring to.

Shrugging, he replied, “I’m glad he’s gone. Hurt more people than I care to remember. But…” Kurt started, his face contorting with something she couldn’t quite place. “But even in my solace…I still can’t help but think a part of me will _always_ burn with anger.”

“I want to say I understand but I don’t think I do…at least not like you have. _What did he do to you_ , _Kurt_?” She inquired softly, and he met her eyes. “If you want to tell me, of course,” she added. “I don’t wish for you to tell me what you’re not comfortable with.”

He shook his head. “No, I—I _want_ to tell you.” Kurt took a moment to gather himself, eyes shifting back to the fire. “As you’ve probably guessed, what happened to Reiner…happened to me as well. All that I am—it’s a product of those Ghost Camps.” His lips twisted into a frown. “The only difference between me and him was that _I_ survived.”

De Sardet let a frown of her own come across her face, heart aching for him. “What was it like to train under the Major?”

Kurt’s expression turned downright loathsome. “When I was a kid, I was considered ‘elite’. I could down experienced soldiers in minutes, so when I was discovered, they sent me to the camp. I was assigned to Major Hermann’s squadron.”

He sighed heavily. “We were beaten practically every day. With fists, with weapons, whatever people could get their hands on. Barely slept. Barely ate too. And Hermann humiliated us whenever he could. Because he knew he could. All the same treatment as Reiner, Wilhelm, and the others…”

Kurt trailed off and she saw him take a shuddering intake of breath as he remembered, “Except Hermann would occasionally come to… _visit_ …us at night.” His jaw clenched and he shook his head, spitting, “No offense, Lady De Sardet, but it is something I’d rather forget. That bastard went up in flames, and I want all my memories to go with it.”

De Sardet nodded sympathetically. “Yes, of course. I understand.” Squeezing his shoulder, she murmured, “Thank you for telling me though, Kurt. I know it took a lot to bare such nightmarish memories like this.”

Kurt turned his head, catching her gaze once more and he confessed, “There’s no one else I’d trust more with this than _you_.”

Her heart gave a thump in her chest and she smiled with earnest. “I…that makes me very happy to hear.”

She pulled her hand away, setting them into her lap before she asked, “So now that he’s gone, have you begun to think about what you’ll do in the future? You’re more than talented enough to gain any position you could ever want.”

“I have,” Kurt nodded. “For once in my life I feel as free as a bird. Like there’s no longer a cage around me.” He gestured to the wilderness with a smile. “I’m free to do as I please and go wherever I wish.”

De Sardet opened her mouth, but immediately thought otherwise, snapping it shut. A moment of silence passed between them, and all she could feel was her pulsing heart. _To hell with it_. she thought.

“I hope Kurt—” she started, and when he looked at her again, she firmly stated, “ _I hope that I’ll be with you_ … _us together in that future_.”

Kurt’s icy gaze went wide, but he snapped himself out of his stupor, replying wholeheartedly, “I admit that it’s still so mindboggling that someone as… _divine_ as you…has found something of an interest in someone like me.”

She raised a hand, cupping his cheek, thumb brushing over his stubbled skin as she professed, “Whatever insulting words you coin yourself with are not what I see. When I look at you Kurt, I see my greatest friend. The one who has always stood at my back.”

De Sardet smiled warmly. “I see an honorable and loyal man. _I see **you**_ , _Kurt_.”

When he didn’t say anything, evidently too shocked to form a coherent thought, she pulled away and stood. “I believe I will rest first. You’ve no issue with the first shift, do you, Kurt?”

He swallowed thickly and shook his head, stuttering, “N-no, my lady. Have a good—good rest.”

She smiled. “I will. Thank you.”


	4. Final Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this! I managed a WIP while going through a midlife college crisis! Enjoy! -Thorne

It wasn’t real, he told himself. The annoying sensation of his heart fluttering in his chest when he caught sight of her. Or heard her voice. Or her laugh. It wasn’t real when he watched her explode with glee when she saw the Naut walking their way, Síora and Aphra in tow. And it certainly wasn’t real when he saw her throw her arms around the young captain’s neck, expressing her relief at his recovery.

_Oh, but it was real._ That vine of thorns that slunk in his chest, curling tighter and tighter around his heart until the sight of it became too painful to watch and he had to avert his gaze for fear of making a fool of himself—and embarrassing her. That was the last thing he wanted, for De Sardet to be ashamed of herself because of him. And that seemed to knock all the air from his lungs, leaving him breathless in the face of his truth.

What did he have to compare to Vasco? Sure, they both lowborn, excluding the whole ‘Vasco’s-Actually-A-Noble’ thing, but the Naut _had_ status. And with his loyalty restored in his guild, it meant he had _power_. Kurt had no doubt that the Naut would come out a commander before his thirty-fifth year—it was only a matter of time. But what could Kurt offer De Sardet that would make even a smidge of a difference when you compared him to Vasco? Hell, he didn’t even have a childhood to possibly reminisce happily about. He spent his life fulfilling contract after contract, coin purse after coin purse. Where was his honor? Where was the life he could give her? Of happiness? Of joy? Where was—

“ _Kurt_!”

An almost painful grip had settled onto his bicep and, curse himself, he startled like a doe in a clearing. His head shot up, eyes wide as he gaped at the very woman he drug himself for, her own gaze slightly worried.

“What?” he dumbly blurted out, quickly darting his eyes to the other members of their troupe, all staring back at him with cocked brows.

De Sardet pulled away and he missed the warmth already. “I was calling for you and you weren’t responding.” Her gaze narrowed. “Are you well?”

He felt foolish. The type of foolish that made his skin crawl and itchy, and he cleared his throat, forcing himself not to flush.

“I’m fine,” he nodded. “I was lost in thought.”

Gauging her reaction, Kurt knew that she wanted to keep asking to be sure, so he offered her a smile. Or at least he thought he did. He was sure it was more of a grimace.

“Really, your excellency,” he said, tightening his voice with, “ _I’m fine_.”

By the way her eyebrow arched, he knew that she didn’t believe a word that came out of is mouth, but the forceful remark made her tip her head in acknowledgement and she glanced back at Vasco.

“Well, they were going to the tavern in celebration of Vasco’s recovery.” Meeting his steely gaze, she added, “I was going to join them after seeing Constantin, but if you’d rather go with them, I understand.”

For a moment, he briefly considered it. Getting drunk would happen a lot faster if she weren’t there to start it. But then again, he was a jealous, envious, and greedy son of a bitch, and any moment he could soak up her presence without the threat of someone else taking her away from him was a moment he was going to covet like it was the rarest of jewels.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll come with you.” The others chuckled and he griped, “Someone might try to hurt you.”

De Sardet snorted as she waved the others off and started up the stairs. “Oh please. We _both_ know I can take care of myself.”

“Be that as it may, I’m still your bodyguard.” And before he could shut his mouth, he grunted, “And the one who pays me.”

She didn’t turn around, and she didn’t have to for him to know that his remark upset her. The way her shoulders set, and her chin tilted up told him otherwise.

They entered the palace and he murmured, “That was unworthy of me. I apologize.”

De Sardet heaved a sigh and shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Nearing the throne room, he felt a shift growing between them and before he could help himself, Kurt reached out and grasped her elbow, stopping her in her tracks. She didn’t pull away, which relieved him more than he cared to admit, but the suspicious look on her face made his stomach roll uncomfortably and he realized that it would appear badly for them if someone saw them— _fuck it, he didn’t care anymore._

“I didn’t mean that Lady De Sardet. Not in the slightest.”

She shook her head. “I told you Kurt, it is what it is.” Tipping her head to the door, she added, “We need to see Constantin. Can we talk about this lat—”

“We’re gonna talk about it _now_.” He interrupted, grip tightening ever so slightly on her arm, and he watched the pride swim in her gaze, daring him to try to change her mind.

“And if _I_ say no?” De Sardet challenged coolly, eyes narrowing into a heatless glare.

Kurt leaned close until they were nose to nose. “I’m afraid that’s _not_ an option, my lady,” he murmured.

They stared one another down for a minute, neither willing to give on their stance until she huffed and shook him off.

“Fine,” she agreed. “Let’s go to the residence then.”

And suddenly Kurt felt his hands start sweating as she passed him by, marching towards the doors, leaving him in the dust.

*******

It wasn’t the first time he’d been in her bedroom. _And shit, saying that made him feel dirty, like some type of lecherous peeping Tom._ While all of the times he’d ever been in her room had been to roll her out of bed and to practice, there’d never been any type of emotion between them—other than her absolute loathing at being woken up by the smug mercenary.

But _now_? Now they’d been dancing around one another with thinly, _very thinly_ , veiled innuendoes. And sharing tents. They’d shared a _goddamn tent_ and Kurt didn’t sleep a wink that night because every time she brushed up against him in her sleep, his heart hammered like a blacksmith was pounding it with a mallet, and a warmth split his gut in two that made his face burn with embarrassment.

And she didn’t even notice. Not then, and certainly not now as she busied herself with pulling off her fancy gray tricorn, setting it aside before moving on to the weapons belts. Each undoing made Kurt’s heart skip just a bit faster and when she finally pulled the armored coat off, she glanced back at him with a funny look.

“Kurt?” she called. “Are you going to take off your armor?”

“My—my armor?” his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and she nodded.

“You can’t exactly sit comfortably with a great sword attached to your back,” she explained, and he watched her as she began to shift the cushions around on the floor, just against the trunk at the foot of her bed.

“I’d also assume that clunky armor isn’t comfortable to sit in.” She shoved at him playfully as she moved around her room, grabbing a bottle of wine.

Somehow, Kurt managed to make his hands move and his fingers to undo the belts holding his sword and armor in place. It left him in his tunic and leather pants, and he lent the gear up beside the doorway and when he turned, she was already perched on the pillows, reclining back.

“Sit with me,” she said, waving him over and he walked on less-clumsy feet to her, taking the seat beside her. He grunted as his knees popped and she giggled. “Old much?”

“I am _not_ old,” he retorted indignantly, swiping the bottle from her to uncork it and take a swig. “I’m in my _prime_ , thank you very much.”

“Oh ho?” De Sardet countered, then took back the bottle and gestured around them. “And the silence outside that I’m hearing is obviously your suitors waiting for you to lay them, hmm?”

A grin came across her lips at his pinched expression and she took a drink, then passed the bottle back. And a silence fell over them for a while as they simply drank with one another.

“You know,” she started after a time. “It is surprising that you never married, Kurt.”

He almost choked on the wine going down. _Almost_. Meeting her gaze, he questioned, “Why’s that?”

De Sardet shrugged, explaining, “Well, you wer— _are_ young and strong. I always assumed you’d find a wife in Serene.”

“I would’ve, but I had to royal greenies to raise,” he teased, nudging her in the ribs. He wasn’t drunk enough to not control his actions, but just tipsy enough to loosen his lips and his feelings. Thank the gods, because if they’d tried to talk while he wasn’t buzzed, he’d have spluttered like a pierced hose.

“ _Oh piss_ ,” she laughed. “Constantin and I knew how to take care of ourselves even without weapons protection.” Turning, she cocked her elbow on the trunk and peered at him with amusement.

“Tell me honestly, Kurt. Why didn’t you ever marry and settle down? Haven’t you always wanted a family? Or at least some semblance of it that wasn’t the guard?”

Her questions dug deep, deeper than he wanted to go into his own heart. Of course, he wanted that. He wanted that more than anything now that his worst nightmare was burned away…but only if it was with her. His mouth was moving before he could shut it.

“Only if _you’re_ the one _I_ do it with,” he confessed and his mouth snapped shut when her eyes widened, shock splattering across her face.

“ _What_?” De Sardet whispered, and he wasn’t sure if she wanted him to repeat it because she hadn’t heard or if she did and she wanted him to say it again.

“I—” he started, then shook his head. This was a bad idea. “It was nothing. A slip of the tongue.” Kurt turned away, but stopped when her hand caught his chin, turning him back towards her.

“My lady, I—”

“Do you mean that Kurt?” she asked quietly and one look into her unfathomable gaze had him sinking deeper and deeper.

“Yes,” he breathed, trying to ignore the way her touch burned him alive, all in the best way. “I…I know that I was your Master-At-Arms all this time, and you were young then, and I didn’t think anything of you.”

De Sardet huffed slightly. “ _Ouch_.”

Kurt chuckled, then his smile fell as he admitted, “But now, Lady De Sardet…you have become a beautiful and wonderful woman. A woman that any man would be lucky to even be in the presence of.”

His icy gaze searched hers. “Everything that I want, everything that you said…a wife…a family… _I want that_ , but only if it means that _you’re_ the one beside _me_.” He reached up and cupped her cheek. “I—I love you, Lady De Sardet.”

For a moment, she didn’t speak, and for a brief moment, Kurt wondered if he’d spilled his guts only for her to hand them back in disgust. Until of course her hand covered the one at her cheek and her eyes crinkled with mirth in the way that set his soul aflame.

“ _See_ , _that wasn’t so hard now was it_ , _Kurt_?” she grinned, pulling away to rise to her feet. De Sardet spun and held out a hand, and when he took it, she hauled him to his feet, enjoying the way his arms automatically wound around her.

“Was this a test, my lady?” he mused, and she shrugged.

“I don’t know, maybe?” her nonchalance made him chuckle and he bent down to capture her lips, only to be stopped by a pointer finger and a cocked brow.

“Uh…”

“Magic phrase?” she whispered sweetly, and Kurt smirked.

“May I get into your knickers, _please_?”

De Sardet swatted at his chest in anger, though laughter peeled from her all the same.

“Oh you—you— _you_!”

“ _You what_?” he retorted, twirling them around to near the bed.

“You are such a ma-- _AN_!” De Sardet cried when her knees hit the bed and she tumbled back onto the sheets, landing with an ‘oof’. Suddenly a weight was on her and she looked up, seeing Kurt smiling down at her.

“You didn’t say the magic phrase,” she pouted, and he leaned down, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“ _I love you_ ,” he murmured, pulling back to meet her eyes once more.

De Sardet felt a flush crawl under her skin and she grumbled, “Well, it was ‘ _may I please kiss you_?’, but _this_ works too.”

Kurt chuckled. “Good to know…but I have to ask…do you love me too?”

She stared at him. “Do you think I’d’ve let you into my bedroom if I didn’t?”

He shook his head. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“ _Is that a command_ , _Captain Kurt_?” she purred, sliding her thigh up between his legs in a way that made him let out a throat growl.

“It’s going to be if you keep _that_ up,” he countered lowly and she grinned wickedly.

“In that case…” he barely got a word in before she shoved him over and straddled his hips, enjoying the crimson that spread across his cheeks when he gaped up at her.

She placed her hands on his chest and stared at him for a moment, innocently murmuring, “I _do_ love you, Kurt. _Very much so_.” Her eyes took on a sad tone. “Which is why when you didn’t tell me about the coup…I was so hurt.”

His face fell and he sighed. “If I could go back in time, I would tell you _everything_ , my lady.”

De Sardet shifted slightly and motioned for him to sit up. When he did, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Promise me that you’ll never hide another secret from me.” Tilting her head, she added, “And I will promise the same to you. Every inch of my soul will be exposed to _you_.”

Kurt couldn’t agree fast enough. “I promise. I promise my loyalty and truth to you. For all of time,” he vowed, and she smiled, pressing her forehead to his.

“And I you, my love.”


End file.
